he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
