what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
