great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
