hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
