So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i think my cat just said my name.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
