Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
