my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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