end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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