My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
