Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
