mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
