Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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