LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
