feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found puke in my bra..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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