:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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