hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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