Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
