summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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