Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

Fav 36 1837 4003
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(661): View more from California

He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.

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(815): View more from Illinois

It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

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(206): View more from Washington

At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

Fav 11 3228 1413
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(313): View more from Michigan

Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.

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(425): View more from Washington

Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys

Fav 3 136 338
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