ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
