You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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