Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
