So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
