She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
