Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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