the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
