Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
