Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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