We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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