Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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