what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I stole a fireplace last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
