I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
