So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
