Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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