So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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