You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
