I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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