Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
