Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
