He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
