please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
