oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
