Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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