I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
