you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
