My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
