I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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