She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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