No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorry my hands just texted you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
