That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
